I used to be a dreamer.
And I was damn good at it too.
I dreamed when I was awake.
I dreamed when I was asleep.
I had big dreams.
I had little dreams.
I had lucid dreams.
I just dreamed and dreamed and dreamed...
But then one day I woke up and realized that I had wasted my life dreaming...
None of those dreams were realistic.
Almost none of those dreams came true.
I dreamed and dreamed and dreamed for nothing...
So,
I don't dream anymore.
But,
I don't know how to exist now without dreaming either.
I don't seem to be existing very well without dreaming that maybe one day...
Dreaming was my life,
But now my dream of dreaming is dead.
Long live realism,
I guess.
But when it comes to realism,
All it does is remind me why I dreamed in the first place,
Because my real life has mostly really sucked!
I don't know what I'm doing here.
I don't know why I'm with the person I chose to spend my life with.
I don't even know now why I wanted kids.
I don't know anything at all anymore...
I'm so exhausted from my dreams,
But I'm also exhausted from reality too...
All my dreaming turned into thinking,
And all I can think now is,
What the hell is my life and why have I been so miserable for most of it?????
Maybe that is why I dreamed and dreamed and dreamed for so long?
My reality wasn't worth living,
So, in a dreamworld I resided.
But I tore down that house too,
And I'm too old and too tired now to rebuild my dreamworld.
I don't even know where I'm going with this poem.
I'm too depressed to figure out why I'm even here writing this...
My dreamworld has turned into my reality of pain and tears...
Don't dream kids,
Dreams only kill you.
They don't make you stronger.
