I have a terrible habit,
Or at least I used to have this terrible habit,
Which was falling in love with repressed bisexual women.
Oh, I loved me some repressed bisexual women.
I fell in love with them here.
I fell in love with them there.
I fell in love with repressed bisexual women everywhere!
But even though these repressed bisexual women loved me right back,
All these repressed bisexual women cried out publicly for was a cute boy.
Do you know a cute boy?
Where's a cute boy?
Did you know that I gotta have a cute boy?
They would ask me.
No, I don't know any cute boys,
Except me.
I was a cute boy.
Or at least I looked like a cute boy even though I was a girl.
But I wasn't good enough for the repressed bisexual women who only openly lusted after cute boys,
Because I wasn't an actual boy.
That's all they cared about really in the end,
Being with someone with a penis,
Because they so desperately needed to be accepted by family, friends, and society at large.
And I didn't have a penis,
Nor did I ever want one.
Well, all of these repressed bisexual women who secretly loved me,
But openly cried out for a cute boy,
They all ended up with fat, grumpy old men instead.
And guess what?
Karma is real
Because,
Even though I'm a 51-year-old middle-aged woman now,
I'm still a cute boy.
But I still don't have a penis and I still don't want one.
Well, except for all those fake penises that I have in the drawer of my nightstand,
But those are really more for my wife, not for me,
Although, I have been told that I am quite skilled at using them.
I hope all those repressed bisexual women who turned down my love because I wasn't technically a cute boy are happy with their grumpy, old, fat men.
I hope being accepted by family, friends, and society was worth being with these grumpy, fat old men instead of me.
And as for me?
I did finally catch me a bisexual woman,
But she was out of the closet and looking for female love, not a cute boy when I met her.
And even though it is soooooooooo superficial of me,
My wife is way hotter than all of those repressed bisexual women who secretly loved me are now.
Sometimes the universe knows what it's doing when it keeps you away from repressed bisexual women who can't stop clamoring out loud for all the world to hear for a cute boy.
Because the universe has a much better mate for you who isn't looking for a superficial relationship,
But for real love instead.
And real love comes in packages that aren't just exclusively in the cute-boy size.
Sometimes we are a beautiful woman who would have made for a cute boy,
But we chose to be a woman instead,
And we like it that way.
Because by being a beautiful woman instead of a cute boy,
We filtered out superficial love,
And found the real thing for life.
