Being a lifelong cinephile,
Or at least up until about 2015, I was a cinephile before Hollywood started falling apart and stopped making good cinema.
But anyway,
When I figured out that I was lesbian way back in 1999,
And before Hollywood started making piles of unwatchable trash,
I got so excited because I thought a whole new world of films had opened up to me -
Lesbian-themed films.
And so as soon as I figured out that I was a big ole dyke,
I consumed every lesbian film that was available to me at the local Blockbuster at the time.
But except for a few gems,
Most of the lesbian films at my local Blockbuster pretty much sucked.
And then over the years as more and more lesbian cinema became available to me,
I kept hoping against hope that lesbian movies would get better.
But mostly, they didn't.
They just got worse,
And worse,
And worse.
So many bad lesbian films to watch.
So little time to watch them all.
Lesbian films are so bad that they make Hallmark movies seem like Masterpiece Theatre.
The handful of lesbian films and TV series that I ended up liking were made by gay men, lesbians from other countries, and what eventually became a trans man, aka Elliot Page, but back when he was a lesbian and not so annoying.
And now that it has been 25 years since I first started exploring lesbian cinema,
Only to discover it mostly sucked,
So,
I have officially and finally given up on anything associated with lesbian entertainment.
Especially when it is from America.
The films suck.
The TV shows suck.
The reality shows are just plain awful and embarrassing.
Let's face it lesbian ladies,
For the most part,
You are not good at making entertainment.
Especially when you're from America.
At least gay men's movies are good.
So are their TV series.
I would say that I should have been born a gay man,
But I love breasts too much.
I guess being able to love beautiful breasts was more important to me than watching a good film.
Maybe now that all the lesbians are turning into trans men and nonbinary folks, they can start making decent films??
Perhaps it's testosterone that creates good cinema??
Because being a lesbian sure ain't the trick.
Or at least an American lesbian.
Maybe American lesbians are the reason why Hollywood movies suck so much today?
It sure wouldn't surprise me if American lesbians were behind all of the unwatchable crap clogging up the streaming services no one wants anymore.
Now the whole world knows what I learned long ago,
Lesbians from America just can't make good movies.
Even this poem kind of sucks,
That's how bad lesbian entertainment is.
I can't even write good poetry about how bad it is.
The End.
No happy ending here.
Which is typical of lesbian entertainment.
We always die alone and unhappy.
The End for good.
