Oh yeah, channeling is a thing.
We're all too busy worshiping our smart phones and declaring our pronoun choices and mutilating our bodies to conform to our new gender to notice this ancient gift we have.
Well, I am not much into smart phones or pronouns or body mutilating sex changes, so I found myself accidentally running into this old, ancient gift of ours.
I wish I had been addicted to cell phones and mutilitaing my body and lost in the pronoun wars instead.
Why?
Because I channeled two fools who at first accepted me with open arms,
But ultimately ended up treating me like I was garbage to just be thrown out when they were done with me.
Maybe this is why we don't channel each other anymore?
Because you run into selfish jerks who are too worried about keeping up appearances?
I channeled two very pretty and very closeted homosexuals.
I was trying to help them come out of the closet and choose a life of freedom and love.
But nope.
They wanted to stay in the "in crowd" and be adored by starryeyed idiots like me who worship them only for their beauty.
But they're both getting old and wrinkled now.
That beauty of theirs they so adore is fading.
And starryeyed idiots like me who loved their beauty have found other, younger beauties to love.
I wonder if they miss me now that I'm gone too?
I wonder if they regret treating me like garbage to be thrown out once they got what they wanted from me?
One got to play with the idea of having a family.
The other got to play with the idea of finally having a female lover.
But they both got bored and scared of these ideas and ran for the hills,
Leaving me all alone and brokenhearted and wondering what the hell happened.
I find myself mostly hating these two people now that I once so loved.
But I also find myself occasionally loving on them again too.
But then I remember they only saw me as garbage,
And so the love I had for them and am trying desperately to get back to disappears again.
But it wasn't really me they were treating like garbage;
It was themselves.
They hate themselves.
They despise themselves.
They are always self-sabotaging themselves out of love.
I was love,
And they can't handle love.
So,
Occasionally I do find myself returning to them,
Wondering if they are ready for love yet,
Because as poorly as they treated me, I do still love them.
But for the most part,
I'm done with channeling.
There is a reason why we aren't with all of our tribe anymore.
I certainly know the reason now why I broke from mine and am building a brand-new tribe instead.
I want a tribe of love and acceptance.
I want a tribe of people who are not even aware of self-loathing.
I want a whole and happy and healthy tribe.
I lived in a sad and sick one for far too long.
That ain't my jam no more.
And one day when the two closet cases wake up to reality and finally realize what I am building,
Hopefully they will join us too.
But until then,
I got my new tribe going now and because of this,
I don't really need them anymore.
