It was an innocent day.
I was walking with my uncle and his dogs in the woods near his condo while quietly contemplating life.
And part of that contemplating was about all things gay,
Because I was on the verge of figuring out that I was a big ole queer just like my uncle.
Well, it took me several more years to figure it out,
But still, I was on that train to figuring out my sexuality,
Even if I was on a rather slow train, at least I was still on it.
So,
I decided to ask my gay uncle, who had worked in the entertainment business since he was a teenager and knew everybody in that business, if he knew if Anthony Perkins was gay,
Because the actor had just died recently from AIDS,
But all the obituaries talked about were his wife and children.
"Is Anthony Perkins gay?"
I asked my uncle.
"I slept with him, so yeah, I'd say he was gay."
My uncle answered.
And I suddenly understood exactly why he had insisted a few years before that we watch a Psycho movie marathon together,
Which I had found rather odd, because he knew that I hated horror movies...
My uncle felt a sudden need for us to immerse ourselves in all things about a crazy man who loved his mamma so much that he ended up dressing up like her after she died,
Because my uncle had loved Anthony Perkins.
Not much was said after my uncle's confession.
My question had been answered in more ways than one.
Hollywood and the world-at-large was full of us queers,
But most of them were like Anthony Perkins,
They would rather be remembered as a psycho crazy killer who dressed up as his dead mamma,
Than to be remembered as a big ole fag.
Is it really that awful being queer?
That you would rather be remembered as a cross-dressing murderer than as a lover of men?
How sad.
The world is a very sad place because it is so full of secrets that don't really matter.
Nobody cared you were gay, Anthony.
All that fighting against your love of men,
And now you can marry one.
Was it worth it?
Denying who you were your whole life so some elderly housewife reading about you in a magazine while waiting to get her hair did in a Super Cuts could continue to live under the illusion that you liked women?
Because elderly housewives are coming out of the closet now.
It's just better to be yourself,
Because sooner or later it's going to be in fashion to be exactly who you are.
originally created on 6/18/2021
